NASHVILLE recap: “Stop the World (and Let Me Off)”

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First of all, I want to start out on a serious note by commending Hayden Panettiere for taking a break from the show and seeking help for her postpartum depression. Lots of love and hugs heading her way from all of us at Out & About Nashville.

Now, on with the show…

Though still on tour with Puke, Juliette wakes up and doesn’t want any uppers or pain killers. She flushes them instead. Then, she conveniently texts Avery from her new phone number just as he was growing a brain and literally about to send the divorce papers off to be filed.

Rayna has a lot to worry about with Maddie flying off to an Atlanta show with Puke and Puke, Junior. Deacon is still wallowing in his pity party and Rayna thinks that if he helps Scarlett clean out Beverly’s house back in Natchez, Mississippi, then it will help him clean up his funk. Plus, she gets a call from Bucky telling her about Layla and Creepy’s not-so-professional relationship.

Speaking of Creepy Jeff, he has to head out of town (to Atlanta) even though Layla’s new album will be released in a few weeks. Rayna has some suggestions for the album, but Jeff tells Layla to take her advice… or not. Wow. Creepy is giving bad advice on taking good advice.

On the private plane to his next show, Puke is talking with that Gabrielle bitch (the one who told him to drop Will from his label) about some big time label investors coming to his show. There are also sparks between them. Gross. While they gab on, they don’t listen to Maddie and Colt (Puke, Junior) sitting behind them plotting ways to be alone so they can play statutory hide the pickle.

Now that Juliette’s head is somewhat clear, she realizes that the tabloid story about Emily and Avery isn’t true and can’t believe she flew off the handle, though the rest of us completely expected it. Drugs do not make her act like a bitch. She IS a bitch. And now Juliette is calling Emily and making apologies, but it might be too little too late. Plus, Juliette has done a LOT of terrible things without the aid of pharmaceuticals, so if you think we’re that dumb, Nashville writers, think again.

Gunnar, Kevin and Will are road tripping over to Atlanta for Juliette and Puke’s show and Gunnar seems to think he had a little spark with Emily when she stopped over to take care of Cadence. Kevin and Will decide he needs to get laid. Guys, all you had to do was stop by and pick me up. Problem solved!

Avery is spending his first day as Markus Keen’s producer and he can’t focus because he got that text from Juliette offering to talk. Things get weirder when Emily calls him about the apology voicemail she got from Juliette. Run, you dummies! Run far away from the Juliette!

Maddie and Colt get their first opportunity to be alone when Puke leaves their hotel room to go hobnob with a corporate mucky muck. Maddie walks out in a skin tight dress. When she discovers they are alone, she starts to kiss him, then immediately puts the brakes on everything and suggests they go downstairs. Maddie, you are too young. Listen to your Auntie Angela. NO! JUST NO!

Deacon gets to Natchez and is still copping a ‘tude with Scarlett. Deacon had better go back to being Deacon soon or else you are going to have a full gay revolt on your hands. We want Deacon to act like Deacon and not Maddie.

Once in Atlanta, Creepy beelines for Gabrielle. He knows they are looking for a CEO of Puke’s business ventures and record label and he wants to throw his hat in the ring, or cock ring, in his case.

Back in Natchez, Scarlett can’t handle Deacon’s Maddie-ness and tells him to stop acting like he is the only one who lost Beverly. “You just take what you want and get out!” she tells him. #TEAMSCARLETT

Juliette runs into Maddie and Colt backstage and somehow Juliette knows that Maddie wants to talk about pre-marital, underage sex. I’m sorry, Nashville writers, but one day off the wacky packs doesn’t suddenly make Juliette lucid or perceptive. Anyway, Juliette takes her aside and tries to give her advice. It’s like the blind leading the land mine. So, what does Juliette do? She brings Maddie on stage to perform with her. And Puke is NOT happy about it. At first I thought he was mad about Juliette’s hideous blue lace and orange (yes, you read that correctly) dress.

When Rayna meets with Layla, she tries to lecture her about Creepy, but Layla all of the sudden has a spine and digs in her heels. She also argues with the constructive criticism Rayna has for the new album. Instead of heeding Rayna’s advice, Layla tears up and steps outside for air. When she returns, she admits Creepy is a complete waste of a hot man, but she loves him anyway (GAG). Rayna uses that as inspiration for Layla to write a song.

While Will and Kevin try to hit on a cute roadie for Gunnar, it comes out (no pun intended) that Will kissed Gunnar, which is news to Kevin. She is obviously a big fan of Will’s and commends him on his coming out of the closet while Gunnar trips over his tongue and she walks away. AGAIN, GUYS. I can be on a plane and in Atlanta in an hour…????

After goofing around for most of the day, Markus decides it’s time to work and interrupts Avery’s phone call with his attorney. Avery seems to think Juliette will now fight him for full custody of Cadence. But, as soon as he turns his focus back to producing Markus, Markus turns on him. They have an argument because Markus is a ridiculous egomaniac and he fires Avery.

After she gets offstage, Puke starts into Juliette about how pissed Rayna will be when she finds out Maddie performed. Instead of maybe admitting he has a point, our mother of the year points out how Luke isn’t always there for his own kids. Pot, have you met kettle? Nope, Puke ain’t standing for that. “Don’t go trying to play cool mom with somebody else’s kid just because you abandoned your own,” he tells her. #TEAMPUKE #TEAMLUKE On that high, he hits to the stage to perform the song Will and Kevin wrote.

Deacon finds Scrawny at the bar drunk. It probably only takes one shot to get her hammered. So, anyway, he hustles her out of there. Once they get home, that two ounces of tequila kicks things up a notch for our little hipster and she tells Deacon he is selfish for making her be there alone when Beverly breathed her last breath.

Maddie and Puke, Junior, sneak off to one of the unused tour buses for their tryst and Maddie tells him she is ready. No, ma’am, you are not. (Next episode will be a pregnancy scare. Mark my words.) Instead of realizing Maddie is missing, Juliette yells at her minion and fires her for doing what she was told. Then, she fires Gunnar’s roadie crush for laughing. That’s when Creepy saunters in and she orders him to get the jet ready. She’s going to Nashville. Yeah, so, Juliette… ummm, we don’t want you here. K? Thanks.

Juliette runs into Gunnar, who keeps bombing with the roadie chick, and she wants to know why Avery hasn’t gotten back to her. Okay, seriously, Juliette? You go a month with no word to your husband and the day you text him, you EXPECT a reply? You certainly do have your head stuck really far up where the sun don’t shine. Anyway, Gunnar explains that Avery is furious with her for not caring when Cadence was in the hospital. No time to worry about that, though. Gun Gun’s roadie is back. She got fired and she just wants to hop on the Gunnar train for a ride around the track.

While Kevin is thrilled Puke wants to record the song he wrote with Will, Will isn’t as enthused. He came to Nashville to be a singer – and songwriting isn’t his dream. Has Will ever heard of that elusive animal known as the singer/songwriter? So… they drive back to Nashville giving one another the silent treatment while Gunnar and the roadie chick make out in the backseat.

Creepy is still creeping around Gabrielle, being relentless about the CEO job. She said he was at the top of her list for the position, but Puke took him out of the running. She still wants to make a case for him, but he needs to prove that the job will come first. That means before his relationship with Layla and we ALL know he will do it because he is a heartless, sleazy subhuman.

When Rayna picks Maddie up at the airport, she starts in with her about performing with Juliette. Rayna doesn’t want Mads performing without her permission. Then, Maddie shoots back with she just wants to be like Juliette, who was emancipated from her parents when she was sixteen- the same age as Maddie.

Deacon finally comes to his senses and realizes Scarlett was right all along. He knows she made the right decision and apologizes for not being there for her. Tears. Hugs. Apologize. Repeat.

Avery hops in the car and drives down to Hotlanta to talk to Juliette. When they finally do chat, he isn’t letting up, even though she (yawn) promises to change. He tells her he wants a divorce. He will file in another county, using their middle names to avoid the press getting wind of it, but she must terminate her parental rights in exchange. #TEAMAVERYALLDAMNDAY

“I can’t have her grow up thinking she can depend on her mother when we both know that she can’t,” Avery tells Juliette.

I just stood up, applauded, and woke the neighbors. It’s turning into a tent revival, ya’ll!

SOMEONE GRAB A BOTTLE!

IT’S CELEBRATION TIME!

 

 

 

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "Please Help Me, I'm Fallin'" (season 4 episode 6)

NASHVILLE recap: "Stop the World (and Let Me Off)" (season 4 episode 5)

NASHVILLE recap: "The Slender Thread that Binds Us Here" (season 4 episode 4