NASHVILLE recap: “After You’ve Gone”

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We kick things off with Rayna on tour in Atlanta (with Tandy and Daphne in tow) and Deacon back in Nashville moving out of her house. I am going to go ahead and assume he’s going to move in with me. I call Deacon dibs, ya’ll! While I await his arrival, he begs Rayna on the phone to tell him what to do to make everything right and he will do it. Wait a minute, Deacon. I might have some ideas! But, no. Deacon calls and gets advice from the most clueless person in fake Nashville: Scarlett.

Cash is still using Maddie to further her own music ambitions by auctioning her off to the highest bidder in the form of record labels. Cash has a showcase planned and Maddie doesn’t think she’s ready to perform. Cash has Maddie on a leash when someone should put a muzzle on her.

The Rolling Stone article comes out and it’s all about Scarlett, making Gunnar all miffed. And while we’re on the topic, I have friends who write for Rolling Stone and Nashville portrayed the magazine’s reporter as some tabloid gossip hound and it harms the veracity of a publication known for integrity in entertainment news. It’s disheartening Nashville would make such a choice and I will gander it’s the last time Rolling Stone allows their name to be used on the show.

With homophobic protesters yelling outside Puke’s office, he is trying to figure out what to do with fake Nashville’s version of Bill O’Reilly, a hateful cow named Cynthia Davis. Best part of this? One of my gay friends played a protestor in the scene!

Juliette is on her Oscar nomination promotion tour and is taking Glenn as her date for the big critic’s reception tonight. But when Glenn tells her about Maddie’s upcoming hoity toity showcase, she meets up with the little brat for a chat. Juliette tries talk her into going back to her family and when that doesn’t work, she offers to help Madds in any way she can.

Avery is playing an afternoon club gig and Victim (AKA Layla), whose album sales are tanking, shows up to support him. Afterwards, they head out behind the bar to chat and smooch. A paparazzi photographer, which we don’t have in real Nashville, but have a problem with in fake Nashville, begins snapping pics. Avery runs him off, but he has the shots he needs.

Rayna goes to visit a mucky muck record label guy who heads a company called Tupelo Creek. She wants him to sign Maddie because she has learned some label called Lennox Hill is gunning for her, but they are located in NYC. Can I be straight with you kids? There is rarely (if ever) a bidding war for an artist from a bunch of labels. It’s the artists begging the labels and not vice versa.

Will gets an emergency call from his aunt, forcing him to go home to Texas. His mother has passed away, but his father didn’t even bother to tell him. Once home, Will’s father (who I lovingly call Old Man Douchebag) tells him it’s his fault his mother died. He claims she died of a broken heart and forbids Wilma to go to the memorial service the next day. But when Will finds his mama’s Bible, he discovers a photo of he and his mama together folded in one of the pages. It was the only photo in the house Will hadn’t been cut out of.

Autumn is still slithering around Gunnar and feeding him jealousy pellets to further strain his relationship with Sherpa Boo Boo. Then, The Exes manager says a big headphone company is looking to do some ads featuring female performers and OF COURSE they want Scarlett. Hey, as long as she doesn’t talk, they should be fine.

Juliette sees the tabloid photos of Layla and Avery and demands Emily find her a hot date for the critic’s dinner. Layla and Avery also see the photos and Avery is freaked out. Victim accuses Avery of being ashamed to be seen with her and storms out. How very Juliette-esque, Victim.

Rayna is staked out outside of Maddie’s showcase. Inside the venue, Juliette has lent Maddie her good luck charm for the day: Glenn. Glenn knows that this showcase is coming way too soon after Madd’s emancipation and he is “volunteering” to be her manager for the day. The best part? Cash (who I will now be calling “Trash”) is spitting nails.

Scarlett gives Deacon the not-so-noble advice of trying to make nicey nicey with Pissy (Frankie). So, He violates the restraining order and goes to The Beverly and grovels. Instead of being cool, Pissy says he is buying Deacon’s half of the bar and (I guess) turning it back into a seedy dive bar money pit.

During a writing session with Gunnar and evil Autumn, Gunn Gunn is snapping at her. Then, he makes the mistake of telling her about Scarlett’s headphone ad. Autumn tells him to stop letting Scarlett take credit for his work. BTW, why does every other scene with Autumn have her eating?  I do not want to see that skank stuff anything else in her face hole.

Much to the chagrin of Ole Man Douchebag, Will goes to his mother’s funeral and when he gets up to say a few words, he breaks down in tears saying “I love you, mom.”

Avery chases down Victim and apologizes for overreacting and they make pookie faces and make up. Look, Nashville writers. You’ve invented reasons for Scarlett and Gunnar to fight and are literally recycling them for Layla and Avery.

On the red carpet at the critic’s thingy, Juliette has some random piece of hot meat on her arm and runs into (the real life) Kesha who is there with Juliette’s Shenandoah Girl co-star, Noah West. How could we forget Noah played by the scrummy Derek Hough? Anyway, he is thrilled to see Juliette and we can all hope he has a high tolerance for crazy.

Maddie has been trying to reach out to Daphne, but Madd’s little sister ain’t having it. And now Daphne is feeling ignored by Rayna who has been focusing all of her energy on Maddie. Okay, can we give that cute Daphne something to do? This plotline is dustier than an old queen’s fart.

Noah finds Juliette at the bar and doesn’t believe she had trouble finding a date. Well, she has trouble finding a date from guys who have actually met her, so… ANYWAY, he pulls her out onto the dance floor. Juliette’s date has disappeared and Noah admits he paid the guy $100 to get lost. I hope he also put him in an Uber to my house because that Ashton Kutcher look-alike was bangin’! Anyway, Noah says he has a crush on her and she says she has a room upstairs. He wants to see it.

Rayna makes her way into Maddie’s showcase and we are surprised to see Maddie calling herself “Maddie Jaymes” – using Rayna’s last name and not her real surname. Anyway, Trash sees Rayna and calls her out for violating the restraining order and they get into another little snippy verbal bout.

Things are looking worse for Puke, who is now personally taking a hit for standing up for Will. Puke’s songs are being pulled from radio stations and his manager, Ken, begs him to cut the cord with Wilma, but Luke stands his ground. “I’m on the right side of history here and the only thing I hate more than a bigot is a coward,” Puke says. So, he does cut something loose: his manager. #TEAMPUKE

Speaking of our sweet Wilma, he has it out with Old Man Douchebag, who kicked him out of the house when he was 17. Will fights back and tells his pops that his mother died of a broken heart because “You threw away her son!” Later, as Will is leaving his childhood home, some lame-ass bigot calls him a “homo” and Old Man Douchebag scolds him for it. “That’s my son you’re talking to. He deserves better than that.” For once, I am in agreement with the old coot.

Backstage on their tour, Scarlett is trying to talk to Gunnar, but she is interrupted by Autumn calling him on stage to perform the song they wrote together. After that, Scarlett agrees to do the ad.

Maddie’s showcase was a success and Glenn is pushing for her to sign with Tupelo Creek and Trash wants her to sign with Lennox Hill because it is in The Big Apple and has no ties to Rayna. Again, not exactly how the music business works, but sure, we’ll go with that. Anyway, Maddie signs with the New York label.

Layla gets a call from Glenn telling him that the paparazzi photographer was tipped off by someone, an anonymous phone call with a female voice. And the subsequent publicity from the photos are causing the media to be interested in her again. “Yeah. It’s almost like we planned it,” Glenn deadpans. Yep, those are horns growing out of her tiny little head!!

In Juliette’s hotel room, it’s the morning after and Noah is shirtless and it’s tough to focus on anything else. But, from what I can gather, he wants to be her boyfriend. And like any woman with eyesight, she agrees.

At his AA meeting, Deacon is on the verge of having a breakdown, realizing he has lost his wife, daughter and probably his bar. Then, he stomps out of the meeting. We next see him at home, determining whether he should open a bottle of booze when Rayna calls. He makes a choice.

He puts the bottle down. And answers the phone.

Okay, bitches, put on your good girl panties because THE Elton John is going to be on the show next week. Oh, PLEASE let her get into a slap fight with Juliette!! My money is SO on EJ!

 

 

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "The Trouble With The Truth" (season 4 episode 18)

NASHVILLE recap: "After You've Gone" (season 4 episode 19)

NASHVILLE recap: "It's Sure Gonna Hurt" (season 4 episode 20)