Romance is Still Alive and Well in Cleveland

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By Barry Graham
Reprinted with permission courtesy of the Bradley News Weekly

12/7/05 – In this age of selfishness, we have to take our hats off to Senator Jeff Miller. Sure, he’s useless as a public servant, since he doesn’t show up at the Senate, and he’s useless as a Delinquent Tax Attorney, since he doesn’t show up in court when he’s supposed to (though he still gets paid upwards of $70,000, so no harm done there)… but we can’t deny that the guy knows how to treat a lady right.

Well, maybe not every lady. His soon-to-be-ex-wife probably doesn’t appreciate how he’s treated her. Most women don’t appreciate their husbands espousing family values and then having an affair with one of their employees and then lying about it.

But, but, but… we’re not going to be negative. Because, if you’re not Mrs. Miller, the Senator knows a thing or two about romance. Lest you doubt us, consider what he did earlier this week. His divorce trial was supposed to start on Tuesday. We were looking forward to it, but apparently he wasn’t. He didn’t want to go to trial, and we can’t say we blame him. He wasn’t going to come out of it looking very good – especially if it’s true that he was planning to represent himself, in which case a fool of a client would have had a fool of an attorney.

Anyway, Miller apparently decided to agree to settle with his wife, and was supposed to sign the divorce papers on Monday. And, when he came to town to take care of this business, who did he bring with him? His girlfriend. Jessa Fahey. The one he had an affair with. The lucky lady who’s now his primary squeeze.

You may sneer, but we think Miller is an example to us all. In this fast-paced world in which so many of us are too busy to spend quality time with our partners, too busy to make them feel appreciated, the Senator has learned how to multi-task. Got to go to Cleveland to sign some pesky divorce papers? No problem for the Smooth Senator. He just brings along his girl, and they fit in some time together at a relative’s house in Decatur – far enough from Cleveland to provide the lovebirds with some privacy, but still an easy drive to Miller’s Inman Street office, and even to the courthouse in the unlikely event that he feels like doing one of his jobs.

Speaking of Senator Casanova’s penchant for failing to show up for work – we wonder if his devotion to Ms. Fahey might explain the time, still unaccounted for, that he was supposed to be spending in court or in the Senate.

CONGRATULATIONS TO A REAL GENTLEMAN

Now, to more pleasant subjects. We offer sincere congratulations to Eric Watson, who last week won the Republican primary for the 22nd District seat. We don’t know whether he can beat Sally Love, the temporary state rep who was appointed to fill the position vacated by Chris Newton’s sudden resignation in the face of the Tennessee Waltz disgrace, but we do know this: it will be a clean fight, because Watson is a class act.

While he endured vicious personal attacks from the odious Dan Howell, Watson stuck to his promise not to retaliate. Understanding that when you wrestle a pig all that happens is that you descend to the pig’s level, you get covered in mud, and the pig enjoys it, Watson campaigned with dignity from beginning to end. He deserves his victory, and he deserves our respect for being a man whose behavior matches his rhetoric.