We begin the show with both Sadie and Luke giving statements to a detective at the police station about Sadie accidentally shooting her ex-husband with an illegally purchased firearm. Wow. There is still a gun law on the books in Tennessee. Who knew!?! As they both give their sides of the story, it seems like things can’t get worse for Sadie (ya know, who just hung out with Puke) who might be under arrest.
At Rayna’s place, she and Deacon are having an emotional hangover after their day of fighting and revelations and telling the kids and drama drama drama. To make matter worse, Rayna has to host Juliette’s baby shower in just a few short hours. I am not sure what is worse- finding out the love of your life has cancer or hosting ANYTHING for Juliette.
Using her one phone call, Sadie immediately calls Rayna and tells her about shooting psycho Pete. Rayna lawyers up and heads on over to the police station. As the detective walks Puke out of the police station, Rayna and her attorney run into them. When Rayna’s asks Puke what he was doing with Sadie when she shot Pete, Luke turns back into an ass hat, sasses her and walks off.
Still on tour, Avery is dealing with an imbalanced and hormonal Juliette. Wait, when is that woman NOT imbalanced? Anywho, they have yet to find a name for their baby and she is being irrational about him not wanting to decide on a name and during a phone conversation about it, she hangs up on him. She next takes her psychosis out on Emily, who is watching her come unraveled.
Gunnar is still whining about Scarlett spending the night with Dr. Hottiepants (Caleb) and when she shows up late to pile on the bus to get back out on road, Gun Gun dickishly lectures her on keeping a tighter skedge. Also, her walk of shame gear is spot on.
Freaking out about the mess he’s gotten himself into, Teddy gets a call from the prostitute asking if he’s gotten her the money she needs to flee the country. He tells her to slow her roll. He is working on it. Teddy’s Creepy friend guy (AKA Creepy #2), who seems to do a lot of underhanded dirty work for him, has dug up some dirt on the mayoral office’s finance director. As Teddy thumbs through the incriminating documents, Creepy #2 tells him he reminds him of his former father in law. Low blow, Creepy #2.
Deacon takes Maddie and Daphne to breakfast at Noshville and Maddie isn’t eating that delicious French toast on her plate. Eat, Maddie! I’ll be damned if you turn into Scarlett. Out of the blue, Daphne asks what cancer feels like. Maddie doesn’t want to talk about it, but Deacon has done a complete one eighty and won’t shut up about it. Maddie isn’t thrilled with any of this and jumps up and hauls it on out of there. Can we have just one scene in a restaurant in this show where someone doesn’t jump up and storm out? And for the record, I eat at restaurants regularly in Nashville and have never witnessed a dramatic walk out. Maybe I should try it just to say I did it.
Back at Deacon’s house, Maddie has locked herself in the bedroom and she calls Teddy in tears, asking him to pick her up. When Teddy shows up, Deacon is having no luck at getting Maddie to come out. Deacon isn’t thrilled to see Teddy and Teddy isn’t thrilled that Daphne is also hanging out at Deacon’s place. This is one effed up Brady Bunch, ya’ll. Anyway, Deacon and Teddy argue about what Maddie wants and that’s when Deacon tells him about his cancer. Teddy doles out some advice, explaining the harder you push, the bigger the brat Maddie is going to be. Like that’s possible.
Back on the tour bus, Gunnar is keeping up his pissy act towards Scarlett when a TV news report from Nashville’s WKRN news anchor Anne Holt pops up talking about Sadie shooting her ex-husband. The report also indicates that psycho Pete is dead. Avery takes off for the back of the bus to call Sadie and when Scarlett tries to console Gunnar because he and Sadie are friends, Gun man jumps up and walks away.
Juliette is freaking out because none of her famous “friends” can attend her baby shower and not even all of her backup singers can make it. Glenn shows up to give her a gift and to let her know that Rayna will also not be making the baby shower. That’s when Glenn drops the Sadie shooting her ex hubs info on her. Juliette’s response is classic Juliette. “I cannot believe she would choose to shoot someone on the day of my shower!” That look on all of your faces right now? Yeah, that’s the same look Glenn just gave her.
At the police station, Sadie is an emotional wreck when she notices the blood on her hands and clothing. Her attorney tells her she is free to go for now. As she, Rayna and the lawyer leave, the awful detective reminds them that charges are still pending against Sadie and she probably shouldn’t leave town – even though Rayna points out Sadie shot him in self defense. In order to avoid that crazy fictional Nashville press corps outside the station and camped outside Sadie’s house, Rayna takes her home with her.
Back on the tour bus where the storyline can’t get more tedious, Scarlett asks Avery what sort of bug is up Gunnar’s butt. Avery recommends she just ask him. He then recommends the same to Gunnar, who goes to skeletal Scar and apologizes. He then starts going off on her being with Dr. Hottiepants and how she sleeps with him on their second date. Okay, to be honest, Jason and Zoey and the crap that kept them apart in the past all came up… but they were arguing and I couldn’t understand her with that accent.
Juliette has hit complete meltdown mode at this point and is tearing the party decorations apart. This includes chucking a beautiful multi-layer cake into a door. What is it with the show and the destruction of cakes? No wonder Scarlett is so thin. At the end of her tantrum, she orders Glenn and Emily to cancel the party altogether.
At the recording studio, Puke texts Sadie asking if she’s okay. (Got any more dumb questions, genius?) He runs into Bucky who is there to check out a new internet artist. Puke is having trouble focusing and tags along. Though they both love his sound, Bucky doesn’t think he is Highway 65 material. However, he is perfect for Puke’s record label. So, Puke signs him on the spot.
Hiding out Chateau de Rayna, Sadie is having nightmares about the shooting. She’s ignoring her phone going off and is glued to news reports about the incident. When she finally does answer her cell, it’s that jerk of a detective.
Deacon invites Teddy in who heads down the hall to talk to Maddie. He is the voice of reason for Maddie who tells him to promise her he won’t get sick until he’s an old coot. Then, Teddy swears he isn’t going anywhere. Foreshadowing anyone? Anyone?
Rayna decides to pop by the baby shower for a moment and when she arrives, she finds Juliette is still fit to be tied. She immediately starts in with Rayna on one of her typical selfish rants and Rayna finally gets the upper hand, telling her to knock it off. But before Rayna can give her what for, Juliette’s water breaks.
Before Scarlett and Gunnar can smooth over their argument, the tour bus quickly stops. Avery’s baby is on the way and he is grabbing a cab back to Nashville. The rest of Chex Mix (AKA The Triple Exes) will have to finish the tour without him.
As Teddy is leaving Deacon’s house, the hoochie mama is waiting for him and they jump in his car to chat. She is completely freaking out (not a Juliette freak out, but close) and she begs him to get her the money so she can leave Nashville.
At the hospital, Rayna is trying to calm Juliette, who doesn’t want to have the baby without Avery. Rayna does her best to help with the delivery, but Avery arrives in the nick of time. As Rayna is leaving the hospital, Sadie calls to tell her the District Attorney isn’t filing charges against her and bumped the illegal firearms charge to a misdemeanor. However, Sadie has been through hell and back and wants to go home to Virginia indefinitely to get her head straight.
Maddie finally comes out of pouty town and talks with Deacon about how angry she is about the whole liver cancer situation. Slap some teen angst on top of that and Maddie has the potential to be another Juliette. Regardless, Deacon simply asks her not to shut him out.
Still pissed at one another, Gunnar and Scar Scar are about to take the stage for their show and even though Gunnar is pleading with her to talk, she ignores him and steps on stage pinning on that goofy, fake smile of hers. So, Gunnar explains to the crowd that before they were a trio, he performed with Scarlett as a duo and she always inspired him and still does. They perform one of their old duets. They still have the hots for each other – and Gunnar confronts her about it. He said he felt something with her on the stage, but Scarlett lies and claims she was just sangin’. Her lying is about as believable as that accent.
Ticked off that Teddy called him in the middle of night once again for a meeting, the finance director (Harris) tells him that he is not approving funds for Teddy’s so-called redevelopment project. But Mayor Teddy has the dirt on him. Not only does the good finance director have a girlfriend on the side, but he has a child with said girlfriend. (Teddy is playing down and dirty ya’ll! That is so HOT!) And Harris is now going to find a way to get half a million bucks.
At the recording studio, Sadie stops in to chat with Luke. She thanks him for lying to the police and telling them the shooting wasn’t her fault. Okay. I just had to rewind that. Did Puke do the right thing for once? Immediately shutting down any relationship forming between them, Sadie heads for the hills of Virginia.
Avery and Juliette’s spawn is here and FOR THE LOVE OF MOON UNIT ZAPPA, DO NOT NAME THAT CHILD SOMETHING STUPID! But, considering the Nashville writers’ track record, my hopes aren’t exactly soaring. And of course, as Juliette is suggesting a name… we cut to black.
But guess what, bitches? Xtina is on next week’s episode and she is gunning for Puke.
Someone please let her know there are better people at the Davidson County lockup for her to date.
NASHVILLE recap: "I Can't Keep Away from You" (season 3 episode 16)
NASHVILLE recap: "This Just Ain't a Good Day for Leavin'" (season 3 episode 17)
NASHVILLE recap: "Nobody Knows But Me" (season 3 episode 18)