NASHVILLE recap: “Somebody Pick Up My Pieces”

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Country music radio personality Blair Garner along with Terri Clark and Chuck Wicks make a cameo at the beginning of the episode where they are interviewing Will on-air. But before they can dig into his personal life, they get word that his record label, Edgehill, has been dissolved.

Layla wakes up to find Creepy Jeff still at her house and he is desperately looking for his next job. If I were to wake up with Creepy Jeff at my house, I would call the police and then have a hazmat crew clean up once he left. They both learn about Edgehill closing and Jeff gets an idea.

Is it just me or is the Nashville wardrobe department going a little overboard with Scarlett’s BOHO style? She looks like a Russian mother from the 1950’s with her hair pulled back and thick knitted shawls. Anyway, Katya Scarlett and Deacon are back in the cute doctor’s office where a spot has opened up in a clinical drug trial that could eliminate Deacon’s tumor without surgery. The downside is that the trial drug is very aggressive and he would have to forego being on the transplant list for six months.

After Rayna promotes Bucky to head of A&R at her record label, Highway 65, Sadie arrives to tell Rayna about the legal troubles caused by her head case ex-husband, including a cease and desist order regarding the album she is currently working on. She spills her guts to Rayna about the abusive ex-hubs and Rayna is more than supportive and understanding.

Pissed off that she is pregnant and gaining weight, Juliette wants to cancel press opportunities, which includes a photo shoot for Vogue that is supposed to chronicle her being knocked up.

After seeing the news of Jeff’s firing and his label folding, Teddy calls Jeff in a desperate attempt to keep his hooker hook-up a secret. When Creepy still won’t get in touch, Ted-man utilizes Nashville’s finest to look for him. Tax dollars being put to good use.

It’s episodes like this that I am grateful for Karl Dean.

Not completely happy with the sound on Sadie’s album, Avery calls Deacon into the studio to play guitar on a few tracks. As soon as he gets to the studio, he begins to call the shots and Avery is not pleased. When Avery does try to assert authority, Deacon touts his credentials and turns into a pouty baby. Well, Nashville writers, you’ve done it. You have officially written dialogue that makes Deacon look like a douche. We should celebrate this rare occasion with champagne and Goo Goo Clusters!

Will comes home to find Gunnar still having a pity party over Mikah and the kid’s real daddy. Turning that sadness into art, Gunnar heads over to his publishing office to write and he finds Scarlett, the Russian stacking doll, doing the same thing.

At her Vogue shoot, Juliette is uncomfortable in her designer dress and in her own skin. The photographer isn’t getting anything good out of the shoot and Juliette kicks him out. Emily looks like she wants to kick them both out. But, Avery, who seems to actually be good for her, talks her back into doing the photography spread.

Now that Luke doesn’t have a record label, he agrees to a meeting with Creepy Jeff. Creepy suggests he turn down all of the record label offers he’s been handling and cut out the middle man by releasing music on his own. In a move reminiscent of Toby Keith, Creepy wants Puke to start his own label. And, yep, you guessed it- Creepy will be in charge of the business side.

It doesn’t take long for labels to try to snatch up Will, who seems to quickly take meetings with several label mucky mucks. Yeah, no, that isn’t how the business works. In reality, Will’s manager and legal team would be pulling a complete power trip dick move and auctioning him off to the highest bidder, taking months to make a decision.

Unlike Will, Puke seems to sort of be doing it the real way, though, because he runs into Rayna in the elevator on the way to his lawyer’s office. They have an awkward conversation about Edgehill closing and Rayna admits she was sad to see it go with it being the place that launched her career. As always, Puke can’t help being a complete imbecile and says “I’ll bet you never looked back once.” You’re only hurting yourself, Puke. You’re only hurting yourself. TRUST ME, no one watching has shed a tear for you.

Without missing a beat, Puke gets Jeff on the phone and tells him Puke Records is a go. He wants Creepy to start going after the artists on Edgehill’s roster, starting with Will. Oddly enough, that is the same thing Rayna told Bucky to do once they heard news of Edgehill closing. But, Jeff wants Layla on the label and Puke (in another dick move) puts the kibosh on her. Seriously, Puke. How many asshat moves do you make in one episode? Is there room for one more? Yeah, he decides to name his new recording company Wheelin’ Dealin’ Records.

Why don’t these episodes come with barf bags?!

At the attorney’s office, Rayna and Sadie learn there isn’t much they can do to fight the lawsuit against Sadie. The lawyer recommends a settlement of half a million bucks, which Rayna says the label has in the form of insurance liability. However, as the lawsuit works its way through the courts, Sadie must stop any and all work on her album.

Back at the publishing house, Gunnar finds BOHO Sherpa Scarlett in tears and it’s not because he ate the last Swiss Cake Roll. To cheer her up, he suggests the last thing on earth I would want to do- a jam session with him and Avery. Just give her the damn cake roll, Gunn Gunn. But, of course, they end up jamming together at the Bluebird a little later on. With none of them having much going on, they decide to start gigging regularly again as a band. Well, at least we will have their musical numbers to look forward to. Silver linings, my lovelies.

Knowing the only label for Layla would be Highway 65, Jeff sends Layla over to meet with Rayna. Then, we cut to a montage of Rayna meeting with a Rascal Flatts look alike, a Zach Brown Band look alike, a Florida Georgia Line look alike… you get the idea. She meets with a bunch of acts that don’t seem right for her label. Layla, as usual, has been waiting around for her turn to meet with Rayna.

The sketchiness that is Jeff next meets with Puke and Will to get Will to sign to Puke Records. (I am sorry. I refuse to give credibility to ANYTHING called "Wheelin’ Dealin’") Plus, we all know Jeff is going to hang Will’s “secret” over his head until he signs with Luke.

Just one day into promoting Bucky, Rayna gets into it with him about signing a new act to the label. He wants to offer a deal to some guy that Rayna isn’t crazy about. Finally getting a chat with Layla, Rayna warms to the thought that Will’s beard has a bit of spunk and determination. Layla hands off her CD and Rayna and Bucky are both wowed by what they hear. Rayna immediately wants to sign her.

Finally meeting up with Creepy at what appears to be one of the bars on lower Broadway, Teddy knows Jeff is still pissed about Rayna getting him fired. Teddy nervously asks “So, we’re good?” Jeff replies with “I am, but I’m not an elected official.”

We next find Rayna and Sadie at the lawyer’s office and Sadie’s crazy ex, Pete, comes walking in with his lawyer. He signs the settlement and as the group clears the room, Rayna tells Pete that she doesn’t know what his problem is, saying “I don’t know, maybe the good lord gave you two inches.” She goes on to explain that if he comes near Sadie again, she will destroy him. GO RAYNA!! #TEAMRAYNA #AINTNOBODYGOTTIMEFORDAT

As soon as Will agrees to sign with Puke Records, Luke tells Jeff that he can’t work with the guy who brought down Edgehill. I ALMOST felt sorry for Creepy. But no, it’s gone now.

He goes home to Layla and she’s thrilled with the news she’s being signed to Highway 65. And JUST when we think she has grown a brain, Layla asks Creepy to be her manager.

Deacon passes on the drug trial and Scarlett heads over to the clinic for a chat with Dr. Hottie Pants and asks him out on a date. You go Scarlett! And there is plenty of time to put on a few pounds so he doesn’t learn you are a twig under your Sherpa gear.

Now in complete panic mode, Teddy hauls ass over to the hoochie mama’s house to discuss getting their stories straight in case anything goes public. But the hooker’s house is mysteriously bugged and the show ends with a disguised van parked nearby listening in on their conversation.

 

 

See also: 

NASHVILLE recap: "I'm Lost Between Right & Wrong" (season 3 episode 13)

NASHVILLE recap: "Somebody Pick Up My Pieces" (season 3 episode 14)

NASHVILLE recap: "That's The Way Love Goes" (season 3 episode 15)