NASHVILLE recap: “Please Help Me, I’m Fallin'”

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Juliette is visibly hurt and upset that Avery wants a divorce. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You have had this coming for a LONG time, you unstable hag. But, she does do the right thing and agrees to the divorce and to giving up her parental rights. However, we ALL know Juliette doesn’t do the right thing without doing something else to screw it up.

Anyway, Maddie and Puke, Jr. (Colt) are in love now that they have done the horizontal mamba, but young love will be suffering now that Rayna has taken her phone away. That’s what you get for hanging out with Juliette, Mads.

Deacon and Skinny are still in Mississippi cleaning out Beverly’s house and the local watering hole where Beverly performed every week is having a little get together in her honor. It looks like they have one more thing to do before blowing that popsicle stand. Deacon wants to go to the party, but Scarlett doesn’t want to go to another sad lounge where her mom’s dreams didn’t come true. Don’t you think staying in Mississippi longer would at least help her learn the accent?

Boy band Markus is still in Nashville and being an uncompromising jerk and now he has his heart set on Rayna producing his album. She reluctantly agrees and Markus wants to start now. Seriously, if it weren’t fictional Nashville, I would have already hopped in my Sentra and personally run him out of town.

As Juliette is leaving her hotel, in the lobby she encounters an overzealous fan who wants a selfie. Still in her pity party mode, she physically attacks the girl in front of Puke, Creepy, Layla and Gabrielle and a WHOLE slew of other people who quickly whip out their phones to catch the action. I whipped mine out and it’s not even real, ya’ll!

Puke is obviously furious with Juliette and when he tries to find out what is up her butt, she smarts off, grabs a bottle of booze and locks herself in the bathroom. Creepy and Gabrielle try to do damage control while Puke goes to keep the mucky muck investors on board with investing in his business ventures. But Creepy won’t clean things up for nothing. He wants to the CEO job at Puke’s new company.

Gunnar hooked up with the random roadie girl (Erin) and now he wants more than just a one night stand. She obviously was happy with that arrangement, but now our hopeless Gun Gun thinks there might be more because he found her earring on the floor thinking she left it as an excuse for him to get it to her. She intentionally didn’t give you her phone number, Gunnar. How obvious does she have to be?

After seeing Juliette’s psycho attack on the news, Avery is tempted to call her, but Will and Gunnar talk him out of it. Good call because we next see Creepy wrangling a drunk Juliette into her hotel room and telling her to stay put. Then, Juliette does the ultimate in bad decisions and bodily throws herself at Jeff, saying “You know you want me. Everybody wants me.” Without blinking an eye, Jeff comes back with “I couldn’t want a woman less. No wonder Avery left you. What a waste.” (I never thought this would happen, but…) #TEAMCREEPY

P.S. OUCH, CREEPY!

Rayna is making some changes with the new song Markus wrote and without even listening to how the changes sound, he is resisting the modification. And as I said, he is an inflexible, spoiled brat and decides that maybe coming to Nashville was a big mistake. My Sentra is ready to run him out of there at a moment’s notice. Who has wine? I will pick you up on the way.

Creepy breaks the news to Layla that he probably won’t be her manager any longer if he gets the job as the Puke CEO. But, he does (gag) want her to move in with him. But, there is no time to waste. He immediately gets to work by having the fan who Juliette attacked make a formal, public statement of apology (get this) to Juliette. She states that she had been stalking and provoking Juliette, which led to the attack. I wonder how much Creepy paid her off to say that.

Will still isn’t happy as a songwriter, so Kevin gets him a little gig performing at a local club. Good thing, too, because Gunnar (going the desperate route) got Erin’s number and invited her to go with him to Will’s show. And by the way, the earring he found wasn’t Erin’s.

Rayna tries to smooth things over with Markus, who points out that she needs him more than he needs her. But the older and wiser Rayna knows that he’s scared and unwilling to try anything that makes him step out of his comfort zone. Rayna asks Mads and Daph Daph to sing the Markus song they did for their school talent show. Daphne doesn’t want to and storms off. Rayna is quite the drama juggler these days. She ought to work backstage at a drag show.

While Deacon heads to the bar for the celebration for his sister, Scarlett is still cleaning out the house and she finds all of the rejection letters her mother received from record labels. Instead of staying in the empty house and crying some more, Scarlett decides she should make an appearance at the bar after all.

On stage at his show, Will is having a ball and flirting with the girls in the audience, until a gay man comes forward for some attention and it clearly makes Will uneasy. Gunnar is running around the venue trying to find Erin, who he does locate, but just in time for her to tell him goodbye. She is bar hopping with friends and has shit to do. TAKE A HINT, GUNNAR! Also, I am happy to pick him up on my way to running Markus out of town.

Speaking of Markus, he miraculously has a change of heart after hearing Maddie’s version of his song and he gets it now. Yeah, ummm, creative difference issues in Nashville are never tied up in a neat little bow in the music business, especially if you are dealing with pompous boy band types.

After seeing the fan statement on the news, Avery calls Creepy, asking about Juliette, because we ALL know she is sick and needs help. But the help she so desperately needs might be too late because we next see her grabbing and consuming any and every pill and bottle of booze she can find.

Avery next heads over to Glenn’s house, hoping he has talked to Juliette, but he hasn’t. Glenn makes a very good point. He knows Juliette is breaking both of their hearts, but “It doesn’t matter how much you care about her if she doesn’t care about herself.”

Now that Jeff has “cleaned up” the Juliette mess, Gabrielle wants to talk to Luke about making him the CEO of Puke Inc. Later, at a party to celebrate the company getting started, Puke gives Creepy the job. Of course, maybe Puke should pay more attention to his kid because he misses Colt sneaking off with a bottle of booze.

Scarlett and Deacon get to chatting with Beverly’s friends and realize how much she was loved and how proud she was of Scarlett. So, they ask our little Sherpa hipster to sing and she does. She knocks it out of the park by singing one of her mom’s favorites. Of course, it makes Deacon tear up and flash back to his sister singing the song. Later, as they drive back to Nashville, Skinny tells Deacon she is going to do the tour with Gunnar. Deacon then decides he is going to help his AA sponsor, Frankie, with his fledgling bar by buying into the business. I suppose he wants to maybe use it to help talented artists like his sister get noticed? He wants to rename the place “The Beverly.” One tiny little issue, Deacon. You’re a freaking alcoholic!

Back to poor Gunnar, once he gets home, he hears a knock on the door and it’s Erin. She just wants to have fun and Gunnar is a bit confused at first. You’re her booty call, Gunnar. You are somewhat famous on the country music scene. In real Nashville, this concept wouldn’t confuse you.

Kevin finds Will behind the club, sucking on a bottle of hooch. Will is upset that the girls at his show pushed the gay man to the front of the stage while he was performing. Will firmly believes his dream is dead and now he is regretting coming out of the closet. Kevin is tired of the Will pity parties and walks away, saying “We’re done.” Gees, Will. He is the best thing that happened to you.

Back in her hotel room, Juliette is still a hot mess and she texts Avery “I’m sorry.” Then, taking Glenn’s advice, he deletes her from his phone. Creepy next spots Juliette, barely able to walk, leaving the hotel.

Still not noticing his hammered, underage son, Puke heads to Gabrielle’s hotel room for some nookie. And, of course, she (upchuck reflexes have been activated) invites him in. Oh- and speaking of Puke, Jr., when Maddie steals Daphne’s phone, he can barely talk to her. So, he steps outside onto his balcony for air and sees Juliette step onto the ledge of a drop off just below him. She stares at a billboard directly across from her advertising her new album and turns in time to see Creepy behind her.

As she sways forward to throw herself off of the building, Creepy runs forward to stop her, throws her back, loses his balance and the last we see is him going over the edge.

Okay, Nashville writers. Good show. That was NOT expected.

I KNOW I didn’t like Jeff, but come on. At least give poor Layla a break! But, that egomaniac Markus is still around, so good news for her. He seems just her type.

 

 

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "Can't Get Used to Losing You" (season 4 episode 7)

NASHVILLE recap: "Please Help Me, I'm Fallin'" (season 4 episode 6)

NASHVILLE recap: "Stop the World (and Let Me Off)" (season 4 episode 5)