So, Creepy Jeff is dead and no one is really upset about it (including me) except for Layla.
The Po Po are questioning Layla, Puke, Gabrielle and Juliette about Jeff’s tumble off the building and they believe its suicide while Layla thinks it’s an accident. And no surprise here- Juliette isn’t exactly cooperating with the law, but she genuinely doesn’t remember what happened. First time she’s been sincere?
Our skinny little hipster does something SHOCKING! She cut her hair! Oh the humanity! I saw somewhere that Claire Bowen (that real life hipster playing Sherpa Boo Boo) cut her hair because she wanted to prove that beauty isn’t about hair. While I admire her motives, I would like to point out that many young, blonde starlets, including Kaley Cuoco and Carey Mulligan, have gone with the pixie cut because it’s trendy. I would also like to point out it isn’t always cute. Dr. Hottiepants loves it and she tells him she’s ready to get back on the road. Somehow the hair makes her accent worse, if that was possible.
Adding another slap in the face to Victim, I mean Layla, Jeff’s sister shows up and is just as big a jerk as her brother. She dismisses Layla and tells her she doesn’t care who she is, she isn’t invited to the funeral and to get out of his hotel room so she can collect his things. Creepy leaves us and his creepy sister takes his place.
Deacon shows Rayna the bar he purchased and no one wants to discuss the elephantitus in the room. But, as usual, Rayna has artists to babysit when Layla calls in tears. Are we sure she wasn’t crying about her Jem and the Holograms movie that tanked in theaters? Anywho, Rayna and Bucky push her music artist duties back so she can recover.
Colt (Puke, Jr.) tells his dad about seeing Creepy go off the building, but not before pushing Juliette out of the way. Puke wants to call the police, but Gabrielle wants to wait and talk to Juliette so they can get their stories straight, especially since Colt was hammered when he saw the whole thing go down. This woman is one of those true to life people you see in the music business. She only cares about the bottom line.
Instead of letting her morally corrupt people brush Jeff’s death under the rug, Juliette is bombarded by press as she leaves her Atlanta hotel and tells the press she’s devastated because her manager committed suicide. I guess something jogged her alcohol-soaked noggin, but not before Puke and Gabrielle rip into her. She tells them she was in her hotel room all night. They then make Puke, Jr. shut his yapper about what he saw. He wants to tell Layla, but he can’t.
Deacon’s buddy, Frankie (played by real life country singer Mark Collie), who co-owns the bar with him, was also once an artist. He even had a major record label deal, but alcohol destroyed that dream. Frankie was Deacon’s AA sponsor, but that won’t be happening now that they are business partners.
What a coincidence that the Chex Mixes (The Exes) need a sound tech for their tour and Gunnar knows just the gal, his sex buddy, Erin. When Pixie Stick (Scarlett) meets her, she learns that Erin is his casual dalliance and Scarlett turns on the attitude, accusing Gunnar of not being focused on the tour.
Layla gets home to all of her stuff boxed up and ready to go to Jeff’s place. Will shows up to console her and she asks him to stay the night with her. We’ve been through this Layla. He doesn’t like fish. But he can help with her pity party because he’s all torn up about Kevin breaking up with him.
When Juliette gets back to Nashville, she doesn’t want to go home, so she checks into a hotel. Speaking of homes, Avery needs to find a new one, so he goes house hunting and is checking out a condo downtown where the real estate agent recognizes him. Can I also point out that the condo he was looking at probably costs upwards of a million? He didn’t ask for alimony, did he?
Colt isn’t happy his dad believes Juliette over him, but Puke still forces the kid into the car to attend Juliette and Puke’s Nashville concert that night. Layla shows up because they are doing a tribute to Creepy before the show. Layla asks Juliette to talk to his family for her so they will allow her to attend the funeral. But, what does our walking bitch on a spit do? She shuts her down.
Rayna doesn’t want to set foot in Deacon’s bar and he goes all emotional because of his passionate attachment to this place he now sees as his sister’s bar in spirit or something. Yeah, I tried to get all philosophical, but this show is Nashville not Game of Thrones. Anyway, Rayna refuses to attend Deacon’s first performance at The Beverly.
Colt barges into Juliette’s dressing room, demanding to know why she lied to Puke. She seems a bit confused and while Puke wrestles his spawn out of the room, she flashes back to her near suicide attempt.
Avery finally has a good cry when the realization hits him that it is truly over with Juliette. I am sorry, Avery, but it’s like Dolly Parton told me once, “Honey, save those tears for a man.” Will goes to check on the baby and starts singing her a song he’s making up and Avery joins him. There was a line about peeing in the pool, so I’m assuming its bro country. Anyway, Avery decides to stay living with Will and Gunnar.
Juliette and Puke make a speech before the concert and Juliette doesn’t finish her speech, cutting it short and saying “He will be missed,” before leaving the stage. (LIES, JULIETTE!) Anyway, Layla jumps her shit and Juliette points out that Creepy didn’t give a damn about her. Fair enough.
As Juliette takes the stage, she has another flashback to Jeff’s death and remembers enough to freak out and run away. Truth hurts, Juliette. But not as bad as Scarlett’s haircut. But guess who is available to go on stage? Layla. She wants to do her own tribute to Jeff.
Puke is scrambling backstage to fill more of Juliette’s slot when the devil herself appears in tears and tells him “I need help.” Well, look who just bought a ticket to reality. She admits to Puke that Creepy did indeed die to save her life. Puke then goes back and eats crow with Colt, but Colt can’t tell anyone the truth. Puke is always looking out for Puke. Puke. But he does get Juliette to what I assume is some treatment center.
Oh yeah, Rayna finally comes around and goes to see Deacon at his bar. But that plotline is boring me to tears right now, so I almost didn’t include it. Since Juliette is going to be gone for awhile, you need to bring it, Nashville writers. Is Julian Fellowes doing anything right now?
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