All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth


Baby Dyke: Dyke in training, a young lesbian or someone who is just coming out of the closet.  Sometimes an inexperienced lesbian. 

I don’t have a problem with the word dyke if it applies, but not every young lesbian will grow into her old age to identify with the term, “old dyke”. Some will be “old lipsticks”, “old poodles”, “old girlfriends”, etc. So I must say I have always had a tiny problem with this term because it applies to all young or new lesbians.

Ladies, think back to the third grade when you got that first training bra. At that time it was known that you were gonna grow boobies, but it was an unknown of what size they would be.  Would they be itty bitty titties, a nice hand full or the conch shells. (For you baby dykes, conch shell boobies are the ones big enough to stick your face between, wrap around your ears so that it muffles it just enough that you can hear the ocean.) 

But with as much trouble as I have with the term ‘dyke’ following ‘baby,’ I can’t find a better term to describe young lesbos.  I mean there is “lesbo in training” but that is too 80’s.

Or maybe “lesbian cub”, but since many lesbians have children it just sounds wrong on all of the maternal fronts, so baby dyke it is. Besides, if my community embraces it who am I to argue?

The perfect gift for a baby dyke is to play on what  progressive-thinking parents do for their kids nowadays by buying them both a G.I. Joe and a Barbie to see which one they enjoy the most.  For your baby dyke, I suggest stocking stuffers.  Buy her a strap on and a bottle of lube so she can try the “slip and slide” and decide if she wants to slip or grease the slide.

For a more conservative gift, OutLoud! Bookstore has a vast selection of books that would could help your baby dyke find her niche in lesbo land. Stop by the store at 1703 Church St. in Nashville.

The best thing we old dykes can do is to help them find their identity early. If somebody had helped me way back when, I would have appreciated it as well as have avoided much frustration, embarrassment and an unfortunate arrest.